What if I don’t like it?

Support Raising. It means that people who want to be pastors and missionaries and other ministry persons cannot earn their money on their own. They must seek financial support from the community so that others can have a part of the mission. And so we get so stressed out that it builds more character and coping alternatives. *Sigh* You know what? I was raised in the south to a family with a work ethic that would put John Smith to shame. Asking people for money instead of making it myself is torture. It is! It’s torture. Don’t get me wrong. Every time I’ve met with someone one-on-one to share testimonies and the nature of my mission field God’s made me so passionate about, I get really encouraged and excited to share. It’s just…the letters and the phone calls. I think I have phonophobia. What really trips me out is that this thing that I’m doing this summer…this daily trying to get a hold of people on the phone and thinking too much about what they might be thinking…we’re lookin at the rest of my life here. And loans! I have loans!!! Debt is…what is that??? I will soon know very well. >.<

I’m scared the stress of support raising will outweigh the joys of reaching out to students. Hm. That sounds pretty irrational, right? I’m always, always scared God’s gonna give me a life I hate. That’s been, like, my #1 struggle in life, actually. That’s just silly now that I see it on the monitor screen. Or is it?

PS: I start Apple bees on Tuesday!! I bought my black nonskid shoes today. Last size 5 1/2 in all the world I believe.