What if I don’t like it?

Support Raising. It means that people who want to be pastors and missionaries and other ministry persons cannot earn their money on their own. They must seek financial support from the community so that others can have a part of the mission. And so we get so stressed out that it builds more character and coping alternatives. *Sigh* You know what? I was raised in the south to a family with a work ethic that would put John Smith to shame. Asking people for money instead of making it myself is torture. It is! It’s torture. Don’t get me wrong. Every time I’ve met with someone one-on-one to share testimonies and the nature of my mission field God’s made me so passionate about, I get really encouraged and excited to share. It’s just…the letters and the phone calls. I think I have phonophobia. What really trips me out is that this thing that I’m doing this summer…this daily trying to get a hold of people on the phone and thinking too much about what they might be thinking…we’re lookin at the rest of my life here. And loans! I have loans!!! Debt is…what is that??? I will soon know very well. >.<

I’m scared the stress of support raising will outweigh the joys of reaching out to students. Hm. That sounds pretty irrational, right? I’m always, always scared God’s gonna give me a life I hate. That’s been, like, my #1 struggle in life, actually. That’s just silly now that I see it on the monitor screen. Or is it?

PS: I start Apple bees on Tuesday!! I bought my black nonskid shoes today. Last size 5 1/2 in all the world I believe.

Hey there…

I’m bored this summer and I need to vent. So here’s the world the way I experience it. But remember, you asked for it.

Okay so this seems to be a good place to start. I painted for the first time last night. On a real live canvas– that was pretty wild. The lack of rules kind of scared me, but it was invigorating.

In other news, I HAVE AN INTERVIEW WITH APPLEBEES TODAY!!!!!!! I know, I know. I have a four-year degree from Clemson– what am I doin’ tryin to get into the eating business? Well you know what? I think that’s what I like about it. An ironic, slightly rebellious challenge. Everyone says being a waitress changes you forever, and I don’t know when I’ll get another chance to get paid for being charming and obedient. Sounds like a whirlwind of sweet chaos and money to me. Also, I haven’t had a job since I left for Clemson two years ago.

Oh yeah, and today I start making my support-raising phone calls. (Don’t tell Applebees, but I’m returning to Clemson in the fall as a missionary aid, so I have to get a support team to send monthly support.) So that’s it for now. Thanks for reading!